It still hasn’t hit me yet.
Or maybe it has. Who knows. I think I have been riding on an emotional roller coaster for the past few months, unsure of how or what to feel about leaving home.
There are times when I am filled with excitement about the prospect of creating my new life at Princeton. The idea of choosing classes to determine your major, ultimately leading you on a career path is exhilarating. And the same feeling goes for meeting new people, finding a niche in extracurricular activities, and embarking on a new journey to my future.
But there are other times (like right now) when I just feel numb inside. After 17 years of living in this beautiful sanctuary of Arcadia, I can’t help but feel so sad that I will be leaving almost everything behind. My friends, my family, my school, my community… it’s frightening that this entire world that I have grown to love will disappear in just over one month, and I am being forced into the next stage of my life more than three thousand miles away.
And it was the worst feeling when I realized that as of today, I have less than one week left to spend with some of my closest friends. I’m terrible at goodbyes. I just can’t do those.
I know I will be happy in a few months. Maybe homesick, but happy and thriving in my new (and cold) environment. I know that we are all experiencing the same ambivalent emotions. I know that we will all be okay. I know that I will still keep in touch with my friends. I know that we will always have our memories. I know that change is inevitable. I know that change is good.
I know all these things. But it doesn’t change the fact that things will never be the same. And for that, I’m sad. And scared.
I’m gonna miss this place.
